It never gets easier.

The wondering, the worrying and ultimately the sadness of never knowing the cause or scenario behind new injuries.

My 21-year-old, nonverbal autistic son came home from his autism center with this shiner and he’s unable to tell us how it happened.

And it’s not just the bumps & bruises randomly appearing on his body that cause me to lose sleep.

It’s the fear of how Skyler will be treated and cared for when he no longer has my husband or me asking questions and demanding explanations regarding his overall health & wellbeing.

This by far has been the hardest part of my caregiving journey with a non speaker.

For 21 years, we’ve played an endless game of charades – determined and hopeful that the minimal clues we uncover are enough to solve the larger puzzle.

I will never stop advocating or fighting for answers on his behalf. After all, that’s how we finally got the Crohn’s diagnosis! But damn… it’s frustrating that we have to evaluate his body head to toe every single day and be gifted mind readers to ensure he comes home at least physically unharmed!

I don’t even want to imagine the mental anguish or harm he endures daily from those who openly underestimate his intelligence or capabilities.

As I tell Skyler, “it’s not your fault and I’m sorry these things happen to you! You deserve respect and all the best the world has to offer.”