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Normal is Boring

While there is no stable, universally understood concept of “normal,” most of us are raised to believe that to be fully embraced into societal norms our lives must follow a similar cycle to this – graduate from high school then college, secure a high paying job in a chosen career, get married, start a family,…
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Adoption

Any man can be a father, but it takes someone truly special to be a dad. A dad extends his hands, time and heart to love the child through anything. The bond between my husband, Josh and my autistic adult son, Skyler is like nothing I’ve ever seen. Many people jokingly call Josh “the Skyler…
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Family

In life, you are presented with two types of family – the one you’re born into and the one you build. My entire childhood was plagued with abuse and trauma, so as an adult, all I desperately wanted was to break that cycle and create a ‘normal’ and loving family of my own. One that…
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Proving Your Worth

Today was a tough day. In fact, one I’ve somehow been able to avoid for 17 years. My nonverbal, severely autistic adult son had to undergo an IQ test / Psychological Assessment in order to ‘prove’ his continued need for services provided by the Medicaid waiver. Because we all know kids outgrow autism and don’t…
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Beauty in the Journey

I have a confession to make… I lack the ability to sit still and am a hoarder of all things pertaining to my kids. Whether it’s the adorable creations crafted by their own little hands or papers pertaining to each of their individual experiences with education (IEPs, report cards, therapy notes, A+ essays, science projects,…
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Waving the White Flag

At the risk of receiving a boatload of backlash for being negative, I’m going to be completely honest. While I make every effort to share the good and difficult parts about being a lifelong caregiver to my adult son with severe, nonverbal autism, sometimes the tough times stick around longer than I’d like and make…
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The Voice Of A Sibling

Much of my life and the majority of my social media posts revolve around managing the unpredictability of severe, nonverbal autism and its impact on Skyler’s life. As his full-time parent caregiver and the parent of a neurotypical child as well, I feel it’s important to also share how this extremely challenging diagnosis affects the…
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Aging Out

The days are growing shorter as that dreaded time draws near, His age dictates there’s no longer a need, so services and programming abruptly disappear. At the moment of diagnosis, I was told all the things my son would never do, “But look at him now,” I scream aloud, “Your predictions were so untrue.” He…
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Where Do You See Yourself

Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? It’s a question I’ve been asked more than a dozen times throughout my life in various situations – post college graduation and job interviews are among the most common scenarios. Back then, I would answer confidently, sharing the goals and visions I had set for…
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Purposeful Motherhood

While I don’t envision that God is in heaven playing a random game of Duck, Duck, Goose as His way of selecting how children and their future parents will be matched, I do believe God perfectly places people, specifically children, into our lives quite purposefully. Maybe I was specifically chosen for my parents as a…
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The Special Guest

I welcome every opportunity I’m given to share our family’s autism journey and speak about all of ways in which Skyler amazes me. However, this past weekend, speaking at the autism conference felt significantly more important than any other talks I’ve given. My emotionally charged words and examples of Skyler’s courage and resilience were directed…
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Just Keep Trying

Routines are an essential part of life for many on the spectrum and my son Skyler definitely demands consistency. I’ve spent this entire weekend parenting solo and essentially filling as Joshua Hellmann (aka Skyler’s favorite person) doing all the special things they normally do together while Josh is out of town running the Cleveland Marathon….
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What is your plan?

My son Skyler is on the severe end of the autism spectrum, is non-verbal and suffers from Crohn’s disease. He is one week away from turning 20-years-old and I’m not prepared. I recently sat down with Skyler’s case manager, who I absolutely adore, for our annual meeting to discuss the waiver service options and hours…
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Dismissed and Underestimated

My 19-year-old son has Ulcerative Colitis, non-verbal autism, complex needs and global motor difficulties. He has been dismissed, underestimated and deemed incapable his entire life by those who are trained to support, teach and encourage his growth and development. I attended a meeting at his autism center yesterday with the understanding we would be discussing…
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Aging out of the system

My 19-year-old son has Ulcerative Colitis, non-verbal autism, complex needs and global motor difficulties. That description is getting harder to repeat … not because of the various diagnoses but based on the heavily uncertain future for adults on the spectrum, the sheer mention of his age sends me into panic. With the holidays now a…
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Emotional Future

Yesterday was one of the hardest and most emotional days I’ve had in many months. For those who have read my book and follow me socially, you know that I don’t sugarcoat any parts of our life, but I try my hardest to always identify the silver lining and remain hopeful in most situations. But…
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Hold My Hand

    It’s a fair question and one I’ve asked myself hundreds of times. What is he trying to tell me?  Even though I’m not always confident I’ve interpreted his outward displays correctly, I do my best to understand and help. As frustrating as it can be for both of us, I appreciate that Skyler…
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What Is Wrong?

I pride myself on writing honestly about my life – the good, bad and the nasty.  As much as I aim to find the silver lining in all situations, sometimes with autism, it’s buried under many, many levels of HARD and refuses to reveal itself! For the past three months, each day of parenting my…
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The Damage of Timelines

Although it has been 16 years, I have never forgotten a single detail of my son’s autism diagnosis. The sterile exam room overwhelmed my senses. Waves of peroxide and latex stung my nose. Unwelcoming, stark white walls irritated my eyes. The click of the neurologist’s pen as he scribbled down notes, void of any emotion,…
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Sibling Shadows

With much of my life and the majority of my social media posts revolving around autism, the impact that diagnosis has on each member of our family – particularly my daughter, often goes unaddressed. Parenting neurotypical children while simultaneously managing the ups and downs and countless unknowns of a special needs child is extremely hard….
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Enough is Enough

From the minute you become a parent, the overwhelming fear and concern sets in.  You constantly question whether every choice or decision you make on your child’s behalf is the right one.  When your child has special-needs, the endless self-doubt triples. The options for schooling seldom are plentiful or a perfect fit, so when an…
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I’m Tired

I’m in a funk – a particularly dark head space that is centered around jealousy. I would normally suffer in silence and be ashamed to openly admit my truth, but I think it’s important to be honest and share because I suspect I’m not alone. We’ve come so far in many ways with Skyler’s communication…
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Celebrating Motherhood

The Mother’s Day holiday is one of my favorite days of the year.  I genuinely enjoy celebrating being the mother of two incredible kids more than my birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day combined. Like many little girls who played house with their dolls as children, I often depicted the ‘perfect’ mother as I imagined her…
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Rites of Passage

I’m going to be completely honest and vulnerable here. I’ve been struggling with my emotions the last few weeks and haven’t really felt much like writing, talking or doing much of anything. I don’t usually let my feelings thoroughly overtake me, but this is a really momentous year for our family – one that seemed…
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Pausing and Living for Today

This unprecedented time of sheltering at home amid fear of contracting the novel coronavirus (COVID-19) — or, God forbid, infecting someone we love — has brought out the best and the worst in us all. Stress levels are at an all-time high and learning to work, study, communicate and perform routine daily tasks virtually has…
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Other Publications Featuring Laurie’s Writing

Other Publications Featuring Laurie’s Writing